Month-to-go blues…

Last Saturday, July 17th, was exactly a month-one! it’s true!- before my departure. Up until now, it seems as if I was focusing more on my strenuous, farm girl life of early mornings and sweaty hoeing, but now that that critical point has passed, I can feel my mind slowly shift to worries about packing, goodbyes, and airplane nightmares.

Since the exact day that I received my contact information about my host family in Tokyo, I have been emailing both my host mother and host sister nonstop – so much so that my mother believed that I was bothering them. It seems that I cannot control my excitement – to know as much as I possibly can about how I will spend my ten months there. After a long strain of emails and getting to know both of these special people, I am immensely relieved at how kind and fabulous they are! My desire to meet them increases as I read each email they send me. 🙂

But now, stress about packing consumes my brain. I worry that I won’t bring enough, will bring too little…the list goes on. Since I will not be home for a year and since Japan is a thirteen hour airplane ride away, if I would forget something special, I would have to live without it. So I am racking my brain, endlessly, it seems, to come up with every single special item I own…though, interestingly, I do not have many.

Some days, I look in the mirror and think I am too young to depart my comfortable life tucked in between special people and special scenery. I do not feel ready for the multi-million populated Tokyo, then, as I stare into my scared eyes in the mirror. Yet I have made the decision to go, and I will not let down myself as to give up on this life-long dream now that it is close enough to taste, feel, and touch…

It’s five thirty, and the guilt of not working hard enough today is building inside of me – so I will now assume my back-breaking farm work once again.

3 Comments

  1. Thank you both for commenting!

    I love my background picture….thank you so much for taking it and letting me use it, Aunt Terra!!

    Rebekah, everything in my life is special to me…thanks for the comment!! It makes me smile every time I read it!

    Both of you, please keep commenting- it means a lot!! 🙂

  2. Zoe! I appreciate and feel excited to read the way you describe so many things in your life as special. What a gift, in my perception, to recognize specialness in the aspects of your life. specialness is abundant! everywhere! huzzah!

  3. It’s natural for your mind to start shifting gears — heck, your life is shifting gears! But don’t worry – you’ll get through the next month just fine, day by day . . . and then your new life will begin, day by day.
    p.s. nice blog background photo 😉

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